Memoirs of a Heartless Man
by secret-passenger
Summary: I loved her, I've always loved her. She just doesn't know it.  A Snape and Lily fan fic.   From Snape's point of view.


I loved her. I've always loved her.

Since the first day I've met her, I always knew that she was something special. More than special, she was one of a kind, she was magical.

I will never forget that day. Mum and Dad were arguing again, I couldn't stand their shouting, so I went out.I took a stroll, hoping to stay away from the chaos going on at home. I lost track of where I was going. Before I knew it, I was in a small park in the part of town that I've never been to. I sat down under a big oak tree, enjoying the peaceful, quiet environment around me, a luxury that I never seemed to have.

The rare cool summer breeze blew in my direction; bringing a crisp mellow voice,

"Petunia," the voice gasped, "Look what I can do!"

I looked in their direction, and saw a girl with long red hair standing with her palm up, a daisy levitating and spinning by itself.

I gasped, I knew what she was.

"How do you do that?" demanded the brunette opposite her, which I supposed was her sister. She was obviously eager to know the trick, but was trying to conceal it.

"I have no idea," the other girl said, mesmerized by the daisy. "Go on Petunia," she encouraged her, "Try it."

Petunia imitated her sister, sticking out her tongue in concentration. She opened her palm, but nothing but a crumpled piece of daisy laid there. Frustrated, she threw the flower on the floor.

"Come on, let's go home," Petunia snapped. The red-haired girl sighed, and followed her.

She was a witch; I had a feeling that she was one.

That was the day I met her.

* * *

><p>The next day I found my way back to the small park. ( I tried my best to memorize the route). I was hoping that they'll show up again. Then I can tell her that I'm just like her. I supposed I went there too early, so I ended up falling asleep under the big oak tree. Until a tennis ball hit me right in the head.<p>

"Ouch," I muttered.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" a voice asked. It was her.

The red-haired girl stood before me, looking at me with an apologetic expression on her face.

" Oh, I'm fine," I replied, standing up and brushing away the grass on my slacks.

"Good to know," she said and reach out her right hand towards me." I'm Lily Evans, pleasure to meet you."

"Severus Snape," I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm still very _very_ sorry Severus. I think I lost control of the ball, and it came flying towards you."

"It's okay," I assured her. " I lose control of things all the time. It's been happening for a while to be honest."

"You too?" she gasped.

"Yeah!" I said. "Wait, you know what you are, don't you?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?"

" I meant, you know you're a witch right?"

"Well!" she huffed, "That's a bit mean to say things like that to a new friend." She crossed her arms.

"No, you misunderstood! I'm a wizard myself!"

"What?"

"We both, we have magic in us. Listen, I saw you yesterday doing the thing with the daisy. That's magic, muggles can't do them-"

"Lily? What's taking you so long?" it was Petunia, her sister.

"Oh Petunia, this is Severus," she gestured, "He said that _I'm a witch_, and _he's a wizard_."

"Which is true!" I defended myself.

Petunia looked at me with a weird expression on her face, as if she's looking at some displeasing thing.

"You're barking," she said. "Come on Lily, let's get out of here." They started walking away.

"Wait!" I called. "Things sometimes go out of control right? You make things happen without knowing why? I'm not barking, I'm telling you the truth! I swear!"

Lily looked at me.

"I'll see you later Severus."

That was the day that I first talked to Lily Evans.

* * *

><p>"So it's real?" she asked me one day, " Hogwarts really does exist then?"<p>

"It's real for us," I replied.

"But why are none of my parents nor relatives are –" she looked around, then she whispered "wizards or witches?".

"Well, it usually means that someone in your family a very long time ago is one. It may go back to even centuries. Sometimes magic blood skip a few generations,"

"So me being a witch doesn't mean that Petunia is one?"

"No,".

"How do I know that I'm accepted to Hogwarts?"

"You've got to be! At your 11th birthday, people from the Ministry or something will come and give you your letter and explain everything to your parents."

" Wow," she beamed and looked at me , " I can't wait."

"You'll see," I said, " Magic is the best thing ever! Better than being a muggle, at least. How boring would life be,".

" What is a muggle by the way?"

"People with no magical blood in them."

" Wait till Petunia hears me calling her that!" she laughed.

She stopped suddenly, and looked at me with a very serious look on her face.

"But Severus," she whispered. " I don't know anything about doing magic."

" Don't worry," I assured her, "Neither do I, and my mum's a witch herself. That's why we go to Hogwarts. So we can learn how to control our magic and everything."

"Thanks Severus," she smiled, "You're a great friend."

That was the day I noticed that Lily has green eyes.

"Severus!" she exclaimed as she ran towards me.

"Guess what I got yesterday?" she said, flinging her Hogwarts acceptance letter in her hands. " They came during breakfast time! Of course I was up at six waiting for them but they sure did give Mum and Dad quite a shock. But they were so happy about it! Dad said that he always knew that I was something special," she beamed.

"What about your sister?" I asked.

"Well," she turned quiet, " she- she hasn't really spoken to me since yesterday."

"Don't worry," I said, "She's probably in shock that I was right. Anyways, happy belated birthday , Lily."

I gave her a chocolate frog.

" Thank you!" she said, "What exactly is a chocolate frog though?"

"Oh, believe me. You'll love it, all kids in our world loves them. Go on! Try it!"

She ate it within three bites.

"Wow," I said, impressed, "That was fast."

" That was the best tasting chocolate I've ever had!" she laughed.

"There's more at Hogwarts."

"I can't wait to go there," she said as she played with the box. A card fell out from it. She picked it up.

"Oh what's this?" she said as she read the card. " Albus…. Wait, _this _is Albus Dumbledore?"

"Yes, he's our head-master at Hogwarts."

" So I'm really going to Hogwarts?"

"Lily, you _are_ going to Hogwarts, stop doubting yourself,".

" You'll keep me company right?" she asked me.

"Of course."


End file.
